SHOPPING by xTx In the produce department I was regular sized. I bought jicama and spinach. I did not go down aisle one or aisle two. In aisle three I bought two bean and cheese burritos and some Lean Pockets. In aisle four I heard the sound of bones stretching out; felt like a brain-freeze all over my body. I bought frozen pancakes. In aisle five I realized I was growing rapidly; feelings of concern and intrigue. I bought Honey Bunches of Oats. In the meat department, I felt a sudden thirst for animal blood. I bought six beef roasts. In aisle six I was a foot taller. I bought a bag of Munchos and sixteen tubes of Pringles. In aisle seven I was two feet taller. I grabbed all the toilet paper off the top shelf. Figured I’d need it all for my huge asshole and new gigantic shits. In aisle eight I was three feet taller. I saw a dead bird and a deflated red balloon on the top shelf, both covered in dust; thought, Nobody knows about this. In the milk department I was eleven feet tall and getting fearful glances from other shoppers. I decided to act meek to lessen their fear. I hunched over and began humming "Penny Lane". In the bakery department I was thirteen feet tall. I selected a loaf of bread and thought, This bread is very tiny. It will make many tiny, meaningless sandwiches. At the checkout lane I was sixteen feet tall and wasn’t thinking very clearly. I lifted my cart and emptied the contents onto the conveyor belt. A few of the beef roasts split open and bloody meat juice exploded all over the checker, bag boy, and a black man. I decided I should probably leave. I couldn't pay anyway. My hands were too big for my purse.